We get to our massive, grassy campsite – of which we are the only current occupants – and spread all our shit out under the bright sun to dry.
As we get organized we finally start to feel like people again. As we're finishing up a Mazda car club rolls up to our spot and we watch with a mix of amusement and horror as they each bottom out on the uneven road: the sound of expensive body kits scraping against the rocks. They line their cars up with perfect precision and line up in front of their cars, vapes in hand, and snap those insta-worthy photos. And just like that, they're off on their next adventure while Mike and I excitedly wave to them like a couple of weirdos.
We marvel over the Kalalau lookout and later enjoy a nice can of soup over the burner before gratefully passing out to stone silence.
Our serene sleep is quickly disrupted when we both wake up FREEZING cold. I'm in my hoodie, sweatpants and socks with two fleece blankets over me and I'm still shivering. We huddle together for body warmth, but it's not use. Eventually, Mike covers us with one of our tarps and we're able to retain some heat, although now every small move is followed by an aggressive rustling noise. We get comfortable enough to sleep in until a new record time: 8:15!
Mike is convinced we should challenge ourselves, so we pick one of the more difficult routes - an 8 mile round trip journey out to a viewpoint of the Na Pali Coast. The walk to the lookout is pretty chill - it's mostly downhill with a few flat parts. The pay off is INCREDIBLE! Although I'll admit I felt a surge of vertigo traversing some of the steeper parts.
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| So friggin graceful/photogenic |
We stop for lunch and then the real challenge begins. The sun emerges from behind the clouds as we embark on the first two miles which are steep and all uphill. We pray for shade and stop every time we feel even the slightest breeze. We curse ourselves for being so cocky earlier in the hike. Every other hiker we encounter looks terrified: they see us and are looking into their future. The trail finally levels out and we heave a sigh of relief.
Back at the campsite, we stretch and enjoy a well-deserved beer. We have decided to hit the little cafe near the park for some real grub and Mike is eager to get there, but I say "What's the hurry? I'm sure it will be open for dinner."
When we arrive at the just closed cafe, Mike's eyes shoot daggers.
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| All the cans of soup have made him crazy |
~~~
We're a bit sore so we opt for some of the more easily accessible viewpoints and do a shorter jaunt down to the waterfall.
We FINALLY get to experience the little State park cafe and enjoy delicious homemade burgers that are so good, we go back for take out after.
Down about the prospect of a cold sleep, Mike opts for sleeping in the car. I'm tempted by the idea, but within minutes of being cooped up in the tiny vehicle, I feel like I'm suffocating. Sadly, I retreat to the car and at approximately 4:30 a.m., I awake to the chorus of a thousand roosters calling to each other across the park.
"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO! COCK-A-DOODLE DOO!"
They almost seem to say, "I'M A FUCKING ROOSTER! EVERYONE LISTEN TO ME CAUSE I'M A ROOSTER AND IT'S 4 A.M. AND I'M A ROOSTER!!!!!"
We quickly throw our stuff in the car and take off, stopping to dispose of our tent that has been ravaged by the Hawaiian weather (don't fret, it was free to begin with.)
Mike promises me he'll drive so I can sleep and I take full advantage. He wants to hit up McDicks to charge his phone and use the wifi, but I keep snoozing in the car.
I dream I'm at a party in someone's yard. There's a knock on the fence and the partygoers ask me to go answer. I do, but no one's there. I start to turn back and they knock again, louder this time.
I jolt awake. A flustered McDonald's employee is rapping on the window. I sit up and open the door.
"Waiting for a curbside order?" he asks.
"Huh...?"
"Curbside order," he repeats, waving the brown bag with the golden M on it.
"No, I don't think..."
"Are you sure? The receipt says curb-side stall #1."
I look around, bewildered. "I don't know, we didn't mean to park here. My boyfriends inside, maybe he ordered it for me... What is it?"
"Rice and Spam."
Gross. Yeah, definitely not for me.
I laugh and laugh and laugh (sleep deprivation will make everything hysterical.)
We spend our final hours on Kauai relaxing, eating and window shopping. We even run into Crispy and the gang, although they don't seem to recognize us (or at least they don't acknowledge us.)
They're in a different park this time, but they're doing the same thing. Drinking rum, loudly talking over each other.
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| So long Kauai! |
